New Years Resolutions 2019 | Zafira
Hey!
So here we are, another year gushed down the drain quicker than anyone expected. But I guess that happens every year, time flies when you're having fun (or you're just used to the same old boring, repetitive routine everyday).
Anyway, I've been contemplating whether I even wanted to post a New Year's Resolution this year because let's be honest, no one really sticks to them. But, since reflecting on the year has become sort of tradition on here for me, I thought that I would stick to it and tell you all about everything I failed at doing in 2018 (literally everything) and what I intend to improve on in 2019.
A new year is just like a brand new notebook, I'm bursting with ideas to jot down and things to do. It's a new slate, an opportunity for you to do all those things you said that you'd do later. Now is the time.
do you ever just want to punch yourself really hard in the face
Oh my god. I cause myself so much stress and anxiety just by naming files really stupid things. It's something I've wanted to improve on for a while so let's see if I finally get a grip in 2019 so I can actually find the files I'm looking for without causing premature ageing.
I'd say I have a very varied and wide wardrobe which is kind of great because I don't have a set style and I love that I can push and alter boundaries to fit the style and look of whatever I'm feeling. However, saying that I have an extensive wardrobe would be great if I actually wore stuff from it and not the same pair of jeans 3 days in a row.
Getting dressed used to be the highlight of my day but now I feel like it's become boring because I don't excite myself by picking new and challenging outfits. I always have that little voice in my head saying
'What will people think?'
but I think it's time we get rid of that voice because I probably look a solid 11/10 in whatever I'm wearing :)
Also, sustainability is something that has recently become a very important factor in my life. The fashion industry is one of the most polluting industries in the world and I'd really like to not play a big part in ruining world.
Well this one is going to difficult. I spend a lot of time complaining and overthinking and just seeing the negative in things. I guess I see it as being 'realistic' but being realistic doesn't always mean being the biggest b*tch and buzz kill ever. In 2019, I'm becoming positive Penny.
I have a week till I get back to uni and if I'm being 100% honest with you, I've done close to nothing which is stressing me out a tiny bit since I have 2 deadlines when I get back. I would like to not die of a heart attack at 19 so I think I should start doing things ahead of time and be organised. Maybe I'll start planning things in advance and just really get my sh*t together.
There was once a time where I would read a book a day and maybe even paint, draw even spend time outside (shocking i know) but it seems like these days, I don't do any of that. I've been collecting books that I've wanted to read this entire year. I love books so I think it's time they make a comeback into my life.
Also, there's a reason I suffered through fine art in my first year of college, I adore art. I have always loved creating whether it's drawing or painting or even doodling. I'd draw on literally everything but I don't even do that anymore. I feel like I need to get back in touch with my inner child because that's when I remember having so much fun and really enjoying life because I was doing what I loved.
I feel like every Instagrammer falls into this mindset where they start off posting the stuff they like and the work they enjoyed creating and then somewhere within that, this fear develops that their followers are not enjoying what they are posting so they starting posting stuff that their followers want to see or the stuff that gets the most attention.
I have definitely felt this way and it's affected my photography work a lot. The way in which I work and create my best work happens when don't overthink it and don't think about the outcome of the photograph but the present. The moment in which the photograph was taken.
In 2018, the first thing on my mind was ' is this good enough for Instagram? ' and I found this altering and even ruining some of my work. The only work I have really loved this year is my film shots of Wales.
I hope that in 2019, my photography work gets better and I start posting more things that I like. Maybe even some cool projects.
*wink wink*
I want to finish this post off with the biggest thank you. I started this blog in 2015 not thinking that anything would come of it but it has become such a big part of my life. I feel like this year things are taking off in a direction I didn't really expect my blog to go in but I am so happy nonetheless.
Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my blog. It truly means a lot. I hope everyone's 2019 is the best year of their lives.
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO STAY UPDATED:
Why I Stopped Reading My Horoscope | Zafira
Hi!
I hate to do this but disclaimer:
I know a lot of people will take what I have to say the wrong way and may not agree with everything I have to say. I have and will always respect and listen to what you have to say and value your opinions as I would like you to value my own. Everything in this post is about my own personal experience. This is not me telling you to stop reading your horoscope. I wanted to share this because when I've spoken to people about this before, it has risen an interesting topic of discussion.
As a cancer, my personality is said to be often ruled by my feelings and emotions which is very true. It's how my relationship with horoscopes blossomed.
I remember seeing horoscopes in those cringey teen magazines that I would always die to buy just to get the 'free' makeup but other than that, horoscopes didn't really impact or show up in my life at all for a while. I guess you could say my horoscope 'journey' began about a year ago in my second year of college.
I think it happens with a lot of second year college students but life just hits you out of nowhere. It becomes stressful and somewhat unbearable. I was applying for unis and attempting to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. This was such a quick changing period of my life and I didn't know how to handle it whatsoever. Things were changing everyday and I couldn't deal with it. I felt overwhelmed and the idea of an unpredictable and near future made me wanna poop my pants quite a bit.
It started off with occasionally checking my horoscope on Snapchat but I was shocked at how accurate it was and ended up downloading an app specifically for it and thus began my very unhealthy relationship with horoscopes. I felt comforted by my horoscope. It was like someone was whispering to me in my ear and telling me how my day was going to be. In a time of uncertainty, this is certainly what I thought I needed.
I didn't realise how infatuated I became with my horoscope until exam season. I think I forgot to read my horoscope for like a week because I was so busy. It eventually hit me that I forgot and I immediately began to think that my week was terrible because I felt unprepared for it. I remember someone asking me how my week was and I told them it was terrible and when they asked why I replied with 'I didn't check my horoscope this week'. I got into bed that day and I felt extremely stupid for saying that.
I was trying to understand why I felt so crappy when my week my was pretty good. I was just annoyed that I could have been more ready for the week if I had just checked my horoscope. Maybe I could have dealt with people better, maybe I could have been more motivated, maybe I could have found the love of my life, maybe I could have been happier? I was so used to knowing what was going to happen and how I was going to feel and deal with situations that in someways, I forgot how to well, really deal with them. I wasn't allowing myself to deal with these things on the spot and on the go that when something would happen that wasn't in my horoscope, I didn't know how to react.
I ended up deleting my horoscope after that week and gave into the unexpected because that is what makes life so great and also not. But I've realised that you need a balance of good things and bad things in life to learn from. I needed that element of surprise in a way to have a healthy mindset rather than being like 'my horoscope says my moods are low today so I'm gonna sit and mope around all day'.
If you're someone like me, the element of surprise is pretty scary and it's completely fine to be scared. Life can be a bit frightening sometimes. I don't like feeling unprepared for the day which is why me and my horoscope became such good bffs. But you have to learn to let the reins loose bit by bit and truly let yourself go and live life not listening to someone or something telling you how your day is going to be, but telling yourself that today is going to be a good day.
Thanks for reading!
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO STAY UPDATED:
4 Self Care Tips for Uni | Zafira
Hey!
It's September and you know what that means, back to school season (ew). It's a sad season for most of us except from those of you who weirdly enjoy going back to school, college or uni. I start my very first year of uni soon and I'm absolutely not prepared for it whatsoever.
I thought the best place to start with all this uni prep stuff is to make a guide focusing on self care. I desperately need it and I'm guessing you will too since it's definitely one of those things we always forget. Self care plus the stress and chaos of school life can be quite tricky and sometimes it's pretty hard to remember to care of yourself when you're drowning in books and work but with these few tips I'm hoping to make the whole process a lot easier.
No.1: Make a Schedule & Make Sometime for Yourself
When you hear the word 'schedule' it doesn't sound relaxing at all but it's one of the key things you need in place to make sure you have time for yourself throughout the week. On a certain day throughout the week such as a Sunday, section off a couple of hours to do something you really enjoy or something calming. This could range from taking a bath and having a few hours to pamper yourself or letting yourself divulge into your fave show on Netflix. Whatever you like. This time is for you and what you like.
No.2: Take Care of your Health
I don't want to be a cliche and tell you to sign up for some lame gym membership to get your self into better shape and and only eat fruit and veg for the rest of your entire life because let's be real who wants to do that? The only things I can really make myself do is drinking enough water and just walking wherever and whenever is possible. I'm a pretty lazy person but even doing that is better than doing nothing at all. Try to take a water bottle (not plastic pls the turtles are dying) with you in your bag and drink it whenever you're feeling thirsty opposed to a sugary drink. It'll make such a difference with your skin and health.
I know we're talking about physical health here but mental health is also extremely important especially to those of you who are moving away for uni. It may seem a bit lonely and you may feel as if there's no one there for you talk to but your school/college/uni will offer a range of resources to help you if you need it.
This is also pretty useful to read.
No.3: Make Some Pals & Socialise
This is probably the part I'm dreading the most because I'm kind of shy when you first meet me and the whole introduction part of making new friends is always so so so scary. However, I'm trying to overlook that this year and at least attempt to try and say hello and hi to a few people to make some pals that will hopefully last a lifetime. If you're starting uni, they have so many different clubs and societies for you to join so it makes the process a little less difficult. I think it will be so cool to find friends with a lot of similar interests to me.
No.4: Sleep & Re-Fueling
I am the worst when it comes to sleeping during academic periods. I don't know whether it's just stress or what but my sleeping schedule goes flying out of the window. I think this is probably one thing I'm going to really try and get into order this year because lack of sleep has the biggest effect on everything. It effects your work, your health, your skin and so much more. Something really interesting to try would be a sleep tracker of some sort to figure out how much sleep you're getting every day and go from there. In tip no.1 I was saying to make time for yourself and this massively includes re-fueling and just getting enough rest.
I hope your academic year is amazing!
Lots of love,
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO STAY UPDATED:
A Long Hiatus, Summer, Prepping for Uni & an Update | Zafira
Hi guys!
It's been quite a while since I've posted anything here simply due to this summer being the busiest one I've had yet. We have 1 day left of August and I cannot believe how fast this summer has flown by but I have loved every minute of it. I took a bit of a break over on my Instagram too which is very much needed but I'll explain more about that later on throughout this post.
This summer began in the most exciting and breathtaking manner as me and family headed down to North Wales for a little holiday at the end of June and I have quite a few posts about that on here. You can check them out by clicking on the following links:
https://www.zaf-ira.co.uk/zafira-1/2018/06/staycation-lookbook-zafira-edit.html
https://www.zaf-ira.co.uk/zafira-1/2018/07/wales-on-film-zafira-edit.html
https://www.zaf-ira.co.uk/zafira-1/2018/07/wales-video-faq-zafira-edit.html
I loved our holiday and it was needed desperately since me and family had a wild, chaotic but amazing summer ahead of us.
July and August were mainly spent on preparing for my cousin's wedding which took up the majority of summer. It my eldest cousin's wedding so it was the first out of the kid's generation which is just so so so weird. I still think my cousin is about 15 and I'm 8 years old dying to borrow her Jacqueline Wilson books. Her wedding was beautiful, it was insanely busy but I loved it. I'm posting a little collage of photographs I took the wedding period over on my Instagram.
And then in the midst of that I've been doing all the boring University stuff like finances and bank accounts. All the stuff that adults usually do but since I'm now legally an adult it's my turn to take over which is very very sad. I start uni in about 3 weeks and I'm so excited but also 100% ready to poop my pants. I'm going to start doing a lot of student based posts very soon so make sure you stay tuned for that!
Lastly, for the past two weeks or so me, my mum and brother decided to take a break over in London after the wedding to just relax, explore and see some family. It was the perfect way to end my summer. However, my phone unexpectedly died the moment I got of the train and set my foot on overly polluted and busy grounds of London. It was quite the tragedy and I then found myself phone-less and disconnected from the online world for nearly 2 weeks. My phone was on it's last legs but it's been that way for a good year and it could have not picked a worse time to die. It's so weird being in one of busiest and liveliest cities without a phone. Anyway, this meant I couldn't really update on Instagram so I took this situation and turned it into a good thing. I think sometimes social media can all get a bit too much so having this break really helped me figure out where I'm going with all this stuff and figure out a path.
I think that's a good summary of everything I wanted to update you all on. I'm sorry I've been a bit M.I.A this summer but I'll be back to normal from this post onward.
Lots of love,
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO STAY UPDATED:
Changes | Zafira
Hi!
It feels like forever since the last time I blogged but I'm back and better than ever!
A couple of days ago, I finished college. It's crazy that these past two years have flown past. I can't even fathom how quickly time has gone by. There were times where days felt like years, especially over the past couple of months with exams but to think I start Uni in September is insane.
I have to say in all my years in education, college has most definitely been the best and worst two years of life. I had never been under so much pressure or stress to complete deadlines and work but alongside all of this, I developed as a person and found myself coming more and more out of my shell.
And that's all down to everyone I've met or became friends with at college. When starting, you don't realise how many new people you will meet. I think I got put into so many classes where people didn't come from my high school so I had no choice but to make new friends and I'm so glad that I did. I love that I had this opportunity to meet so many different people with so many different personalities and characteristics which has not only helped me embrace who I am but helped me make friends that I know I'll be friends with for many years to come.
I'd love to say I loved every moment of college but I didn't. There were so many moments where I felt as if it all got too much and I just didn't want to be there anymore and I think this is something that everyone at college can relate with. Sometimes the amount of pressure put on you is unmanageable but I'm glad that I stayed throughout the course of two years. I found that this helped so much with building my tolerance for stress and most importantly, patience with myself.
And now it's all over. Two years of memories and chaos all built up to two weeks straight of exams and now I'm done and I've become a free woman. I'm more than ready to see what the future holds. I think change has always been perceived as something uncomfortable and scary and yes it is those things. But I think change is mostly good, without it everyone would be so bored of their lives. I know I definitely would be. I can't wait to see what Uni has to offer and what sort of person I grow in to.
To anyone who is reading this from college, thank you for making the last two years very very very liveable, exciting and just overall amazing.
Lots of love,
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO STAY UPDATED:
Dear 2018 | Zafira
Dear 2018,
2017 was a roller coaster of a year. I don't think I've ever been so upset but so happy but so disappointed and extremely overwhelmed all at once in my entire life. It's been a strange one but I'm very much ready for it to end.
I don't want to start this year off with a list of resolutions and things I need to fix from last year because let's be real, I'm never ever going achieve everything on my list. I'm not expecting a lot from this year, just the few important things that I feel will not only improve me as a person but my entire life in general.
I hope that you offer me a range of opportunities because I think I'm finally ready to live my life to fullest. I know this year will be challenging. It's my last year at college and I'll be sitting my exams in May (😭) and hopefully, if I get the grades I need, I'll be off to Uni in September which is insane. In my head, I still feel like I'm 10 years old but I'll be turning 18 this year and I'll be an adult. It's time to slowly grow up and let real life hit me and I'm ready for it.
I have this irrational fear of change but at the same time, I love change. I can't wait for it. I know that a lot of things will change this year, with my education, with family and much more but it's taken me a solid 17 years to accept that these changes are good. Even if they don't feel like it at the time, they'll make more sense as I grow older and learn to understand how if they didn't occur, I wouldn't be where I am right now.
I spent a lot of time in 2017 wasting away my hours, contemplating over things that didn't matter at all and a lot of staring at the ceiling and listening to Kanye's 'The Life of Pablo' all night until the early hours of dawn hit. That's all about to change, I love you Kanye but I think it's about time I sort out my sleeping schedule and spend my time on things that will have positive outcomes. I'm ready to work hard for what I want and I'm extremely determined to tick off many goals on my list this year.
I hope you are sweet to me and I hope that time spent with my family and friends this year are so heart warming that my heart over heats and feels like it's going explode every time I with them. I haven't been a very good friend or family member this year, in some ways, I feel like I've neglected everyone close to me. But, I'm working on myself and I think it's finally hit hard how much my loved ones do for me. I want to make my family and friends proud and be there for them. I want them to feel a sense of warmth and comfort when they are around me.
My camera and art supplies became a little dusty this year. I hadn't been as devoted to capturing photographs and creating art as much as I would have liked to mainly out of pure laziness. It's been harder to create art over the past couple of months, the only time I feel a little spurt of creativity is during class and I feel this overwhelming urge to doodle. I want to desperately work on this year, I want to be the artsy fartsy child I was a long time ago. I know she's hiding deep inside me somewhere. I captured a lot of memories this year on film. I'm in love with my Canon EOS 300 but I feel as if I haven't spent enough time with it in my hands. Capturing memories has been fun but I know that there's so much more out there for me to document and capture. There's so much going on in the world that so so so many people don't see. I want to change this. I want to take a series of images so eye opening that it changes the way people think and see. I'm done with all this tumblr-y stuff that people expect of me when they see my work, it's not what I want to do anymore. I want my work to have more meaning.
I want to spend more time on here. I love writing. It's something that feels so natural so to avoid it and not spend anytime doing it feels wrong and uncomfortable. It'll be hard to find the time to put in but I will find time and make this my own little cute personal space on the vast web. I've done this place up a little bit and found a name I quite like, 'Zafira Ahmed' seemed a bit too plain Jane. I really like this new name.
Charles Buckowski said "I was waiting for something extraordinary to happen, but as the years wasted on nothing ever did unless I caused it" and I intend to live by this everyday this year. In 2017, I felt bored with my life, it seemed as if the days were all blending together, there was no difference between them. I want to do exciting things, big or small. I want to be spontaneous and not live by a structured day to day schedule.
2018, please go slowly. I feel like my whole life is flashing before my eyes already when I've barely just hit 17. I want to enjoy every aspect of my life so thoroughly and vividly that the memories stay with me forever. Whether these memories are good or bad, I'm ready to experience them.
Yours sincerely,
Zafira
x
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/thezafiraedit
Photography Tumblr:
Personal Tumblr:
Flickr:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/zafiraahmed/
:
https://twitter.com/zphotographya
Youtube: